How many times have you resolved that your value – how worthy and deserving you are – is based on someone’s ability to see it? Perhaps, you don’t actually acknowledge this consciously; that your decision about your value and worth is based on something external. What if you take the time right now to reflect on this question, but make sure that you are truly honest with yourself? Perhaps, you will notice that you really do base your value – worthiness – on someone else’s ability to see it. We all do to some extent. We are human! But, how much is too much?
Value from Social Media
Many of us see our value only when someone else sees it. Take, for instance, how many friends or followers you have on Facebook; how many Likes you get for your posts; and what about what your boss or professor says to you or doesn’t say to you at work or university, respectively. Many of us will deny that this does not affect how we feel about ourselves – our worthiness – but I’d like to challenge you on this. Does it not give you a twinge, on occasion? Or, especially when you are feeling down, does your mood not get affected?
There is a negative effect when we stay in denial – when we don’t acknowledge the truth. When we deny anything to our authentic self, nothing can change from within. Our value, thus, will always be based on someone’s inability to see it. It is one thing not to acknowledge your distorted self-concept in public. Okay, no big deal. We all have a bit of pride. However, if you don’t acknowledge the current truth to your self, you stay in the dark and what you want or hope to change cannot.
Acceptance and Reframe
Once you realize and accept your distorted belief – once you put it in the forefront – you now have the ability to change, to reprogram, to refocus, or to reframe what is distorted to the correct version or the version you want. This process is actually quite simple, but it takes work; it takes effort. The acknowledgment, itself, is usually the struggle. It’s moving past denial and speaking the truth to what is ‘really’ happening inside your brain – your thoughts.
In order to Wake Up to Live Life fully you must be honest with your self. This can be the most humbling process you will ever experience, but it is worth the effort!