Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs and work, but, eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them. -Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday, I Cried.
Children Speak the Truth
I bled all my life up until I was in my early 40’s. My choices, my emotions, and my behavior were all stained by the wounds of my past. Food, alcohol, and drugs were all a part of my choices to drown the hurt and the pain, but, eventually, I realized that none of these delusional bandages worked. Besides, my children were getting older and they started speaking the truth to my face. That’s quite a rude awakening when you want to stay in denial. It was not only denial that kept me in the dark, though. I didn’t want to feel the pain again, and I knew this was exactly where I had to go. Eventually, I did go back to feel that pain, encouraged by the children but for the children, too. It was bloody hard!
Find Your Reason to Heal
In order to go back and make peace with your past, you need a reason; a BIG reason to want to heal the pain of your past. This big reason will also help you endure the healing process. Whenever I wanted to give up, whenever it felt like I couldn’t endure the pain anymore, I went back to the thoughts of my children and how I wanted to be as a mom.